Have you ever been required to sign an absurdly draconian EULA for something you've already purchased and thought, "I wish there was a way to do this securely and anonymously!"

How about giving your phone number, zip code, date of birth, and sexual preference over to big box retailer at the register?  Or signing some ridiculous petition for lawmakers to ignore, only because you don't want to look like an ass in front of your co-workers?

Well worry no more!  Pneuma will soon be a reality.

Pneuma, the ancient Greek word for "spirit" is a new blockchain-based cryptocurrency built on the latest technologies used by Fortune 500 companies, like IBM, Wal-Mart, JP Morgan Chase, and many more.

You earn Pneuma in a variety of ways, including:

  • Giving money to charity (both traditional currency and bitcoin are supported)
  • Performing good deeds in your community
  • Being polite to that really, really annoying coworker.  You know the one we mean.
  • Helping friends move without any promise of compensation or reward
  • Joining and actively participating in a recognized faith

The Pneuma that you've earned can then be spent in place of a variety of other soul-draining tasks, like:


  • Providing your phone number and zip code at the register
  • Entering into absurd, convoluted license agreements and contracts that are too long to read (let alone comprehend)
  • Creating an AppleID account just to download free apps
  • Giving your credit card number to get a "free" trial

More information will be available soon, including where to sign up for Pneuma, and how to install the Pneuma Wallet on your computer.


NOTE: The Pneuma Wallet absolutely, positively does NOT contain a bitcoin miner.  We promise!  Seriously!  Also, Pneuma isn't real; this post is satire.  Have a great day.